Since my last post, I’ve been pretty busy with army training. I spent a month up in Grayling doing all sorts of training from two platoon live fires to riding in chinooks and Blackhawks. There were stressful times, cold times, sleepless times, and there were good times. It was a great opportunity to build team cohesion within the company through some good old-fashioned shared suffering. I know I learned and grew a lot as a leader from the experience and now I am looking forward to getting ready for a deployment.

Summarizing the training and looking back on it makes it seem ordinary and typical and the type of thing that army soldiers do, but each individual has their own story during the build-up to something like a deployment. I am excited, but that doesn’t stop me from being anxious about a lot of the uncertainties and certain challenges that lie ahead. Prior to even showing up for the first day of training I was feeling anxious and worried. The weight of leadership and letting my men down was consuming my thoughts. Thoughts like what if I’m being lazy or aren’t trying hard enough are constants. Before we went to Grayling I went to a bonfire with friends and the whole time I felt spaced out thinking about the imminent burden of leading 30+ through training and eventually into an overseas deployment in a kinetic area of the world. As I sat there by the fire I was a little frustrated by the thought that no one could relate or truly get what I was going through. At the same time, I’m glad they don’t have to. That’s the point of serving your country so that others don’t have to.

It’s funny the little things that happen in life that sometimes turn out not to be so little. I went to jiu jitsu the day before I started training and my coach there talked about experiencing emotions. In a jiu jitsu sense, there are emotions that make you want to not show up sometimes. There are emotions that make you want to quit when things get tough during a roll. Coach Carl, who has a master’s degree as a trained therapist, spoke about how these are just emotions. It’s the actions you take in spite of the emotions that really matter. It was just a jiu jitsu class and those were just some words, but the impact couldn’t have been better timed with what I was about to experience. Sometimes those small things really are just a part of God’s plan for your life. Since that moment, throughout training and now off training in another state there have been many challenges, but each of these challenges is an opportunity. I have a choice—the choice to listen to my emotions or to take action in spite of what those emotions are telling me. What I choose is who I become. If I choose to give up when my emotions are telling me things are getting tough that becomes a conditioned response. Likewise, when I push through and endure adversity when my emotions are telling me to quit that too becomes a conditioned response. Now when I face adversity and experience feelings telling me it would be easier to take it easy or quit I get excited, because it is an opportunity for me to shape who I am. Who I am is someone who perseveres.

I could leave it there and this would be a good blog post, but I don’t get a lot of time to write so I am going to take advantage. After some time in Grayling, I got to spend some time with my family. While visiting my family in Grand Rapids I also found a motorcycle that I’ve had my eyes on for quite a while. Like everything right now, the supply chain issues have made it really hard to find this bike and when I saw it I jumped on the opportunity to buy it and have since ridden it close to 500 miles before storing it for the deployment. I took one trip back to Pigeon to visit my parents and I took a detour on the way back to Saginaw through Port Austin to explore a decommissioned Air Force Station from the cold war era. Still adventuring whenever I can!

I also spent a lot of time with friends and family while I still could. I saw my Aunt and Uncle who I haven’t seen in far too long, spent time with my nieces, hung out at my parent’s house, and even got to do my high school friends’ fantasy football draft in person with the boys! To top it off I got to go to the Michigan vs Uconn game with my buddies and even saw my nieces there! It was really a great way to spend my last free time before heading off for a year. God has blessed me so incredibly with all the friends and family I have supporting me while I go do army things! If you’re reading this you are probably one of them so thank you for thinking of and praying for me!