How does one propose? That’s a great question and like many other young men looking to propose, I asked the internet. A lot of articles gave good advice like it depends on the girl and what she likes while other articles or forum responses were oddly specific like, “try to do it on a dock.” As much as I liked the dock idea there was another specific suggestion that caught my eye —”incorporate baked goods.” If you know anything about Emily you would know she loves to cook, bake, and mostly eat it seems. She is a real donut fiend so that’s the angle I took.

Like a true romantic the day before I planned to propose I was on the phone with a famous donut shop in her local area coordinating some special “Will you marry me?” donuts. That night I flew into California and hung out with Emily in her hometown. We had talked about marriage before and she even asked me if she should redo her contract at her school to teach next school year. I told her no. She showed me rings she liked. We both kind of knew what was coming, but I like a good surprise. The night I got there I didn’t propose. The next day we are playing pickleball at a park and she subtly asks if I’m going to propose. I kind of beat around the bush and drag it along giving no definite answer because I don’t want to ruin the surprise.

We are driving back to her house and she asks me what my opinion on hot dessert is (as in do I prefer my cobbler cold or warm). We talk about desserts for a while and I take a relevant transition to spicy desserts and I tell her that I bet The Donut Man (her famous local shop) would probably make a really good mango habanero donut. This seems like an inconsequential detail but it’s important later. Anyway, Emily has her high school class’s graduation that night and I figure (correctly) that she probably wants me to propose before the graduation so she has some closure before saying goodbye to all her fellow teachers and staff. I knew it would be a bummer for her not to be able to share it with her coworkers, but I wanted when and how I do it to be for the right reasons and not because of outside pressure. I saw it as being between Emily and myself. I also thought about how beautiful of a circumstance it would be for one chapter to end for her right before another starts.

We got ready for the graduation and I had my nice pants on and put the engagement ring in my pocket. Then we headed to the graduation which ended up talking almost two and a half hours, but it was such a nice ceremony. It was exciting to see so many young men and women with bright futures excited for what lies ahead. They were also a great group of kids from what Emily had told me. So after a long graduation and an obviously emotional time for Emily, considering the graduating class were all freshmen and her first class when she started teaching at the high school four years ago, I offered donuts as a fun celebration. Emily was definitely on board for the donuts, but she was also pretty drained. So instead of grabbing the donuts in our nice clothes and heading to a romantic park like I envisioned, we instead went home so Emily could change into her comfy clothes. I definitely respected the move. I decided it was just best to roll with the punches to keep everything as much of a surprise as I could. Donuts and then to a romantic park it is! Except… on the way Emily in her more emotional state directly confronts me about why I haven’t proposed yet. If she were me she would have proposed already she declares. She was very “perplexed” by what I could be waiting for. I found the conversation a little amusing mostly because I knew what I already had planned, but also because Emily is generally so sweet and laid back. She undoubtedly had a lot on her mind. I essentially tell her I don’t want to talk about it anymore and she’s upset. Perfect! The surprise factor will certainly be there now.

As we walk up to the donut shop Emily tenderly apologizes for asking because she recognizes it is my decision and she knows I must have a good reason. I told her it had been an emotional day for me too though I didn’t even know the high school students. Donuts should do us some good! Emily really thinks so because she wants to buy four donuts for the two of us to share, but I already have some special donuts planned so I need to make sure there is some room in the box. I whittle her down to three donuts to split and then I cooly ask the kid at the register, “Have you guys ever thought of making a mango habanero donut?” He emphatically responds, “No, but that’s a REALLY GREAT idea!” This was the most nerve-wracking part for me, relying on teenage fast food workers to pick up on a code word, but based on his reaction I think he understood. The best part is Emily doesn’t think anything of it because I already casually planted the code word earlier in the day. I keep an eye on the kid from the register and it appears he took the donut box into the back and loaded it with the special donuts before loading the donuts we ordered at the window. I make sure to grab the box as soon as he hands it to us and the box feels a little extra heavy. I’m pretty sure the special donuts are in there! On to the romantic park.

It’s been a long day and we decided to skip the park and go back home to eat the donuts. If I tried to force the park plan Emily would probably have thought something was up. It was already late out and the sun had gone down when we got home. We pulled into her driveway and got out of the car. I make sure to get out quickly to walk around the front of the hood to block her from going straight inside. I set the box of donuts on the hood. Coincidentally her driveway is also where we had our first kiss so I channel some of that romantic energy. I start telling her all the things I love about her and she just assumes I’m apologizing for telling her I didn’t want to talk about proposals anymore. After a couple of minutes of sweet talking, I told her she should open the donut box. Her response is, “Why? Can’t we just eat them inside??” “JUST OPEN THE BOX,” I not-so-cooly respond. Now she’s confused but she goes to open the box as I fish the ring out of my pocket. As soon as she sees the donuts saying “Will you marry me?” I am already down on one knee with the ring. She immediately bursts into tears and the only thing she can manage to utter through the tears of joy is “HOW??”. She is dumbfounded by how these magical donuts got in the box. The surprise worked! On one knee I told Emily how I’ve never met another woman like her and I couldn’t imagine a better teammate to spend the rest of my life with. I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and she said yes!!

Emily could not stop crying for a long while after that. She was just so happy! It was the cutest thing. We ended up standing around in the driveway for probably 20 minutes just hugging and talking about it all. Emily kept saying, “It doesn’t feel real” with the biggest smile on her face! I truly can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her! One chapter ends for Emily and a new one starts for us both. God is good!