While deployed to Syria one of our routine duties was to occasionally secure a landing zone out in the desert. The landing zone needed to be a fairly large area so that Air Force cargo planes could fly overhead and push out a bunch of supplies. The supplies would float down to us by parachute and then once they landed we would go and establish a security perimeter around the supplies while a working party loaded the supply bundles onto trucks. Often locals will try to come collect any debris or trash we leave behind. That can be pushy often getting too close, but generally, the locals responded well by backing off when guns are pointed in their faces. That’s generally how airdrops went or were supposed to…
One night my platoon was assigned an airdrop mission. It was a fairly windy day and the airdrop got pushed an hour later in hopes the wind would die down. Needless to say, it didn’t, but we did the mission anyway. Things went pretty much as expected up until the moment the Air Force cargo plane flew overhead. Once the bundles were out we quickly realized how big of an impact the wind had. Not only did the bundles of supplies land more spread out but several of the attached parachutes also stayed inflated even after they landed. Several bundles were dragged by strong wind gusts keeping their parachutes inflated. My truck zeroed in on one such bundle and ended up in pursuit for almost 2 kilometers following it through the desert and into farm fields before the parachute finally ripped off the bundle.
We were really separated from the group and when we finally got to the bundle we were chasing I stopped and marked it with IR strobe light. Then we continued in the direction of the torn parachute thinking there may be other bundles in the area. I radioed over to the other trucks that we had placed an IR strobe on one of the packages and a free truck came over to take up security on that bundle. The truck with my JTAC team assisted by my EOD team rolled up onto the bundle just as a group of locals had ripped open the side of the bundle and started to steal our supplies. The truck crew rolled up quickly and hopped out with their guns aimed in and scared off the locals. As the locals were scrambling one local man in fear struggled to start his motorcycle and dropped it on its side and ran.
My industrious truck crew of specialty units took matters into their own hands. Tristan, the EOD team leader, got the motorcycle started right after I showed back up with my truck crew in support. Tristan ended up driving the bike sandwiched between my truck and the other as we headed back to where the rest of the bundles were being loaded. It was quite the convoy with a dude all kitted up in military gear riding a tiny motorcycle in the middle of the large gun trucks. We successfully got the motorcycle back to where they were loading up the supply bundles and then we tossed the motorcycle onto the trailer as our spoils of war.
We rolled back through the gate and unloaded our supplies and of course, the guys all shared in the pride of confiscating a local’s motorcycle for interfering with our safety on the airdrop. That was fun and it was good morale for the boys, but as the leader of the mission, I was a little concerned about the reaction of the locals. We were there to get rid of terrorists not to create more. So I notified my commander of what we did and why and headed to bed after a late night. The next morning our partner force liaisons wanted to talk to me after receiving complaints from the locals. I told them it was simple. If they steal our stuff we will steal their stuff. It’s a matter of safety for my men and locals can’t be interfering. If they wanted their motorcycle back all they had to do was return everything they stole and stop interfering with our airdrops. Two days later a couple of locals dropped off way more supplies than we even knew we were missing—likely stolen bundles from previous airdrops—and we returned their motorcycles. It was a big win for morale and to top it off we set a precedent of consequences for interfering with airdrops without creating more terrorists!
Most people who read this blog probably already know that I have been deployed to Syria with the Army since mid-Novemeber 2022. My unit started the deployment train-up back in August of 2022 and now almost a full year later it is coming to an end. It’s been one heck of an experience and one of the greatest privileges of my life to lead men and serve my country in such a complex and dangerous environment.
Syria is exceedingly complex and most Americans don’t know the United States is actively involved in the region. According to the United States National Defense Strategy, ISIS and its affiliates represent a persistent security threat to the United States being classified as a “violent extremist organization.” Operation Inherent Resolve first began operations in Syria in 2014 and its mission in Syria today remains the same; “to enable the enduring defeat of ISIS.” It is under this mission statement that I was deployed to Syria.
Officially in Syria, we conducted partner defeat ISIS operations with our partner force, the Syrian Democratic Forces, as well as efforts to secure critical infrastructure in the Deir ez-Zor and Hasakah regions to prevent that infrastructure from falling back into the hands of ISIS. For me, on the conventional force side, this looked like advising through partner force joint patrols in the Deir ez-Zor region. These joint patrols and the bombed-out oil refinery we lived on and defended also helped to increase stability and to ensure critical infrastructure stayed secured. The “green beret” soldiers we were stationed with, on the special forces side, worked more hands-on with the Syrian Democratic Forces. They conducted joint operations direct against ISIS targets and further developed the SDF’s capability to prevent the resurgence of ISIS unassisted.
This is a video screenshot of an ISIS protest that happened within 5 miles of our base while we were there.
Another, less official, reason the US is in Syria is to deter our adversaries Iran and to a lesser extent Russia. Just across the Euphrates River from where we were stationed is the Deir ez-Zor airfield which houses Syrian Regime, Iranian, and Russian military positions. Iranian and Russian military flights as well as frequent surveillance drones were launched from this airfield. On the west side paralleling the Euphrates River are numerous built-up Syrian Regime, Iranian, and Russian battle positions as well. On the opposite, east side of the Euphrates River, we would routinely patrol along our partner force, SDF, battle positions observing the Syrian Regime and Russian flags at the counter positions right across the river. Part of this unofficial mission was terrain denial to prevent our adversaries, Russia and Iran, from controlling the oil-rich region of Syria that the US and SDF are currently securing. Iranian-backed militias also posed a threat to stability in the region and to the US and our allies. The presence of US forces in Syria makes it more difficult for Iran to move weapons into Lebanon, for use by its proxies, including the Lebanese Hezbollah, against our ally Israel. Strategically, our presence is crucial in disrupting what could be an uncontested land bridge for Iran to the eastern Mediterranean.
Outside of my area of operations, to the north other companies from our battalion dealt with another player—Turkey—further complicating the geopolitics of the mission. Though Turkey is a NATO ally, they actively target the US’s partner force ally, the SDF, with airstrikes and drone attacks on prominent SDF leaders. Between ISIS, the Syrian Regime, Russia, Iran, Iranian-backed militias, and Turkey another complication was the constant instability and conflict among the local tribes within our area of operations. The SDF also experienced some instability between its different military councils and branches of the military as they jockeyed for power and more importantly US funding during our time deployed. Needless to say, the environment was complex making for a very interesting experience as an infantry platoon leader leading patrols through contested areas with many national strategic level implications for any missteps.
Major Events
This next section will take a look at specific events that took place during the deployment using entries from my personal journal. Journal entries have been edited to remove specific names and sensitive information. For context, I was stationed at MSS Conoco in southern Syria. The majority of my duties there were conducting mounted vehicle patrols throughout our areas of operations. During these patrols, we conducted observations of pro-Syrian regime battle positions, patrolled through populated civilian areas to encourage stability and security, and organized key leader engagements with local SDF military leaders to conduct joint patrols with them.
Jan04:Rocket Attack News Article “Woke up like any normal day and went and got breakfast. I was eating it in the platoon office with [my platoon sergeant] and I had finished everything but my cereal. We were sitting there talking about who knows what when I heard an explosion. I saw [our company commander] run out of his room and the intel analyst ran frantically past us. We quickly realized this wasn’t a drill.
[The platoon sergeant] and I ran outside and to our tent. We didn’t hear any other impacts. When we got to the tent area I told everyone to get their kits on and guys were still laying on the ground and evidently had just been woken up by everything. The incoming alarm went off one more time and we got down and then I got my kit on.
Since everyone had just woken up it made it super easy to get accountability. We got in the trucks and got them crewed and then spun up to our different battle positions. That worked well and we immediately got an up on accountability from the rest of the platoon in the bunkers. Then we stood by waiting for info.
Eventually, [the operations center] told us to link up with EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) to go explore the POI (point of impact) site. We linked up with them and they had the grids. ]One of my squad leaders] put them into his ATAK (navigation phone) and we made a quick plan on how to approach the sites and then we headed out. My FO (forward observer) monitored the company net for me and I had my handheld on our patrol net. I also had another handheld Hytera radio to talk to the ODA (special force team) that was pushing out to the point of origin.
We pushed out and got to the first site and there was this massive crater right in the vicinity of where the first grid took us and I thought for sure that must be it. [My point man] told them he might have seen something and EOD pulled up to take a look. It was hilarious because they pulled up to this small skid mark and to a little Pringle can sized piece of rocket laying there about 30 feet from the actual crater. The massive crater there was completely unrelated. Fortunately, EOD knew exactly what they were looking for and the rest of us just got lucky. It was a classic example of when expectations don’t meet reality.
I remember thinking dang that’s all that rocket did? We are that afraid of rocket attacks here? It would have to be a near-direct impact to kill someone otherwise it’d be a small shrapnel radius. It was kind of funny to think how wrong I was about the damage just one rocket could cause. That made me feel a little bit better about the odds of it causing death to one of our guys if it landed inside the wire.
We dropped [the platoon sergeant’s] truck at the first POI and then we went to the second site. Again same story and this time EOD did a whole evidence collection process and it was kind of cool to watch them work. Then we wrapped that up and collected evidence at the first site and then headed back in the wire. While we were about to head back we heard another explosion.
We got back and I went into the [operation center] and started getting the bigger picture of what happened. Eventually, we had a company-level AAR and that went well. We, as QRF, made some mistakes. But overall we performed really solid with a lot of flexibility and thinking on our feet. We had quick accountability and working out there with EOD went really well. We successfully investigated and recovered everything.
In the AAR the ODA explained that the Apaches saw three rocket rails and one rocket was still on a rail. So not knowing if it was on a timer the pilot launched a hellfire missile at it. The ODA eventually showed up and then saw another rocket still there. Might have been the same one, but they did a controlled detonation which is the explosion we heard earlier. It was really cool to get the big picture of everything and understand how it all went down. A lot of elements reacted and we did it well and everyone was safe and we actioned everything we needed to. God is so good!
Then went back about the day, but in [an elevated security posture]. The news about the rocket attack was up on ABC News within like 2 hours after the actual attack. That was kind of crazy.
It’s very interesting because as it was happening I was almost excited that it was. I remember being outside the wire looking for the POI sites and I just felt so alive. It was a strange feeling. I’m glad I had that experience and more importantly, I’m glad no one got hurt. What a day! God is so incredibly good!”
Jan30:Bradleys hit a Mine “Woke up and had a chill morning. Was expecting to hear some news about Israel’s air strikes and a raid that was supposed to happen. No crazy information came out of that. Then I went and lifted at the gym. Afterwards, I headed to the market to order a sandwich. On my way back I saw a sergeant from another platoon walking to the market and I said hi to him and he replied with a serious look on his face and told me the Bradley’s hit an IED.
I ran to the [operations center]. Their Bradley was disabled, but luckily no one was seriously injured or unstable. It turned into a run around everywhere getting trucks ready and getting all the assets we needed. We went out with the JTAC (Joint Terminal Attack Controller) and EOD and 5 QRF trucks. It was stressful getting out there trying to make sure we came in on the same route they came in on. [The Bradley’s platoon sergeant who wasn’t on patrol with them] rode in the back of my truck and it drove me crazy. He would not shut up. I get that he was emotional because it was his platoon but he kept trying to micromanage everything.
We made it the where the Bradleys were and then it became pretty unclear how we needed to establish security because it was a narrow road right against an elevated railroad track known to be covered with mines and IEDs. We approached slowly and when the road became more canalized we pulled security while the EOD truck moved up. We essentially took commands from [the EOD lead] and watched as he moved forward on foot, scanning and then slowly moving the truck forward. It was slow going and we all pulled security and watched. Luckily the JTAC came with us and we had a ton of assets on station for us. We would have been absolutely screwed without them because there was no security to the north because we couldn’t get there because of terrain and we also couldn’t risk pushing past EOD into a known minefield. That was tough but I’m glad air had us covered. Apaches circled all day.
Eventually, EOD cleared up to the Bradley’s and the 7 personnel inside dismounted and walked back along the cleared road to where our security position was. [My platoon sergeant] and I had already made a plan and he was going to stay and I was going to lead 3 trucks back to [our base] with the casualties. We loaded them up and then got accountability and pushed out.
We found a quick easy route back onto the main road and then headed up to [base]. We drove straight through with no [entry control point] check to the Role 1 (medical facility) where the casualties were triaged and taken off our hands. I had the 3 trucks restate and prepare for follow on. I ate the cold sandwich that I had ordered right before we got spun up in the first place. I stood by in the [operations center] while the situation progressed. They were able to hook the two other Bradleys up to the downed one and they began to tow it out of the minefield. It came up that a bunch of the armor had gotten blown off and we would have to recover it.
My three trucks and I prepared and got the lowboy and the MRV (MaxxPro Recovery Vehicle) ready. [The recovery lead] had 4 men come with us— 2 driving the MRV. We headed out after a quick ramp brief and passed the Bradley getting towed on the main road.
At this point, it had gotten dark and by the time we arrived, we immediately fell in on the plan that [our] 1SG and [my platoon sergeant] had come up with while we were gone. The MRV moved up while the rest of the 3 trucks filled in security. We got the lowboy turned around and staged while the MRV maneuvered to get into position to attempt to recover the Bradley’s 1000lb+ armor. It seemed slow going but they eventually got it and began to move forward slowly. The MRV and the EOD truck came out at the same time and we moved the EOD truck within the security position because they had no gun. The MRV dropped the armor onto the lowboy and as they strapped it down we prepared everyone else to get ready to move. [My platoon sergeant] had complete accountability and gave out order of movement to each truck as he gathered numbers. Once the armor was secured and the MRV was ready to move we started pulling out with all 8 trucks and made good time making it out to the main road and back inside the wire.
We got inside the wire and we cleared all weapon systems and refueled and got them staged. I learned a lot from the whole experience. I’m so so glad that everyone was alright with no major injuries. I went into the [operation center] and then rounded out the night talking to the SDF, preparing a patrol for tomorrow, and helping with the incident paperwork.
What a freaking night, but God is unbelievably good and I am so thankful everyone is safe! Thank you, God!”
Mar23: One way Drone Kills US Contractor at RLZ Woke up and went to the morning update brief. Decently chill morning. I reviewed my [mission planning products and admin tasks] in the morning and then I went and lifted. I got 325 3×3 on squat. 225 4×3 on bench and 430 4×3 on deadlift. My back jacked up on the last set of deadlift, but otherwise I felt strong!
Then showered and then got ready for the [partner force] SDF weekly meeting. It got postponed for an hour and a half so I went to the market to pick up the food I had [one of my squad leaders] order for me. I was eating over at the market when they called FPCON Bravo (a higher threat protection level) so I packed up and walked to the tent to get my kit on. I went to the TOC to see what was up when they called FPCON Charlie (even higher threat protection level). RLZ was hit.
We mounted up and took the gun trucks to battle positions. Information was slowly flowing out and we stayed in our battle positions for a couple hours. I swapped trucks with [1st PLT] because he needed a more reliable JBCP truck. They were spinning up to take the MLIDs (drone defeat system trucks) all the way to RLZ with the JTAC and a wrecker. That was a wild plan and it took them a while to spin up. They eventually left and then got called back to turn around.
During FPCON Charlie the senior leaders got called into the [operation center] and [the commander] explained the situation and said there is likely a US casualty. The one way UAS hit the maintenance bay there with several injured and one unlikely to survive. The dynamic here is going to change and we are going to strike back. We eventually dropped down to [a lesser threat level] and then I went in the [operation center] to see if there were any updates. We are going to conduct counterstrikes either tonight or tomorrow night. And we will probably have an expanded target list. Most likely tomorrow night though.
I went and disseminated to the SLs and then we had a PLT bonfire and hung out and [one of the platoon’s gunners] played some songs which was really cool. That was a very cool moment for the platoon. The humanity of coming together and being with each other as friends and as brothers in sight of the tragedy that happened at RLZ where one of our brothers probably got killed was a good way to react. I’m proud of them doing that and us being in a healthy headspace.
Internet will be out for at least 48 hours while the injuries get sorted out. So it will be interesting to hear who the injuries are and then to see how it was reported in the United States. Lots of implications coming up.
God is still good and he’s got a plan for us in this. I don’t know what his purpose in this is, but Lord God use me as your instrument to do your work according to your plan. Also, be with the family of those injured.
I have no idea how I would have reacted if I was there and if they were my guys. Lord prepare me for those realities though I pray I never see them. Give me the right actions to take and words to say. Let me be strong for the sake of my men. Amen.
Mar24: We get Attacked by 220mm MLRS Rockets The day really started at 0030 when the radio guard came into our tent and told [my platoon sergeant] and me needed to go to the [operation center]. We went to the platoon office and [the commander] told the leadership group that the decision came down to conduct the counter-ITN (Iranian Threat Network) strikes tonight. Effective immediately we would be in a “soft” FPCON Charlie with rotations of guys in trucks on battle positions along the perimeter wall.
[My platoon sergeant] and I came back around 0100 and woke up the squad leaders to figure out a plan. The meeting was a bunch of grumpy tired people staring at each other trying to come up with a roster that doesn’t screw everybody out of sleep. We landed on 4-hour shifts per squad. Each squad would man two trucks. One on the north wall and one on the south wall. Leadership would rotate in the JBCP (communications) truck to monitor all levels of coms.
I slept through the strikes and when I went to relieve the crew for my shift they told me about how they could hear and see the strikes exploding on the Iranian targets across the Euphrates River. The truck near the west wall said they could see the strike burning in the distance for hours.
My crew went out and manned the wall. We had the 0500-0900 shift which wasn’t bad at all because the sun started to come up right away. That didn’t stop me from drowsing off repeatedly though.
I pulled us off the tower so I could go to the [update brief] to hear the latest info about the strikes. I got into the [operation center] for the [update brief] and we waited around for [the commander] to show up. Before he could show up MSS Green Village (the closest US mission support site to our location) started taking rockets and they pushed everyone out of the TOC into “hard” FPCON Charlie. By the time I got back to the tents guys were getting spun up. It was a complete gaggle trying to crew the trucks with the shift crews. We eventually got up and got into positions. I can’t remember how long, but probably after about 20 minutes in battle positions they dropped us back down to shift crewed battle positions instead of 100% and I went back to the [operation center]. I got some updates and then grabbed breakfast for myself and [my platoon sergeant] and filled his coffee. I delivered it to him on shift and then I ate mine watching the rest of a Man in the Arena Tom Brady documentary episode. Then I used the bathroom and shaved and then got some sleep. I slept pretty well actually.
[My FO] and I were on shift in the JBCP truck and I listened to the Andrew Huberman Jocko podcast episode. Pyle and I talked and I did some reading. Apparently, the internet was working but I couldn’t get it to work. As I was trying to move closer to get it to work I got a call over the base net from [the commander] that there were 7 enemy one-way UAS airborne with unknown target destinations. As I was hearing this I went and woke up [my platoon sergeant] and the SLs and got them going. We ended up going hard FPCON Charlie again. This time getting loaded went much better and we went out to our positions. [The commander] gave the order that senior leaders would be in the guns along the west wall to watch for the potential approach of one-way UAS. We were in that posture from probably around 1500 to 1900 roughly.
Immediately after that, I went to a leader meeting and they explained that none of the one-way UAS had been launched it was a misunderstanding. They were prepping them for an attack but had not launched them. They had 12 one-way UAS ready according to intel and MSS Conoco and ATG were both assessed as prime targets. I also was told I had to make a [patrol plan] for a [resupply convoy overwatch mission]. I immediately went to the chow hall after the meeting at 1910 I tried to get food and the DFAC was locked and no extra food was anywhere. I was so fricking mad and especially since a bunch of my guys didn’t get to eat. I was very angry towards both XO and 1SG. I went back and found that some guys had gone right away and got food so we at least had that.
I had a leaders meeting with the squad leaders and we lightened up the crew for the JBCP truck for more downtime and I didn’t have to be on shift until 0100-0500.
I went to sleep to try and get some shut-eye and [my platoon sergeant] came off shift and was doing the same when we got hit with some sort of rocket/missile attack.
I woke up so confused because the noise did not compute. There were no alarms over the [warning towers] and no message put out. All that was heard was just explosion after explosion all around. It was a weird moment where [my platoon sergeant] and I just stood up and started getting ready. We put our kits on and I put on my socks and boots instead of getting down and taking cover. By the time I was getting out of the tent they called FPCON Delta (our highest threat protection level) and the last of the rounds were impacting. All the guys were in the bunker and they were shaken up. It struck me because my only emotion was initial confusion because I didn’t understand what the noise was. Once I realized it was rockets it was work mode and I just went to work to do my job. Seeing the guys scared in the bunker was a pretty stark contrast. I was much more well-composed than even it seemed the squad leaders were. I am proud of that composure. Once we got our accountability and realized the impacts were over we hopped in trucks and got off to our battle positions. I went up onto the Northeast battle position on the north wall of the perimeter and stood by.
Almost immediately we had a casualty called up and that was something that made told sense considering the situation, but I was surprised by it. It felt so real and I quickly got angry. I was angry at the Iranians. I was angry at the US government for putting us out here as bait. Mostly I was angry that I wasn’t able to do anything. I just sat there hoping there were no more casualties and that the one casualty would be okay. I thought a lot about my guys and how much I realized I care for their safety. I thought how would I react if it was one of my guys who was injured? Lots of thoughts and lots of time to sit there on the wall and consider them.
We eventually got called to start at the north wall and sweep south [searching] for UXOs (unexploded ordance). I organized to have 4 trucks on line and we moved slowly and deliberately, but there was just so much space to cover. Ultimately we were able to spot three rockets stuck in the ground. EOD responded and I’m not quite sure what their actions were. One impact was very close to our radar system so hopefully that system is still up.
After hours of clearing [the commander] came over the net that were going to do hand across Conoco on foot to clear the whole base for UXOs. We were moving to execute when he radioed back and said the planned counter-strike was canceled because of the weather. Because it was cancelled we are able to wait until light to do the clearing.
All leadership met in [a specific] room and we talked about the events quickly and mostly the path forward. Trucks will stay in their positions all night with no movement due to the UXO risk. Word that GV took 3 one-way UASs was also pushed out. The coyote destroyed one. The LPWS (anti-rockets, artillery, mortar system) destroyed one and one impacted with no casualties, thank God!
What an absolutely wild night. I went back to the truck and we refueled and then sent them to support EOD for a clearance of the outer perimeter road. I went to the squad leader tent and briefed the squad leaders. After that, I tried to sleep, but couldn’t get away from my thoughts and after half an hour [one of my soldiers] woke me up because the truck was back. I was onto another shift on the JBCP trucks at about 0330. I guess I’ll call this the day and pick up tomorrow’s journal with my truck shift and after.
All I know is that we are extremely blessed and God was certainly watching over us because with all those impacts all around us, it could have and probably should have been much worse. The noise of all those rockets impacting all around and the repercussions of the explosions was an exhilarating moment. It’s hard to describe. It was honestly kind of surreal to be here in this environment with that act of war. I pray for the days ahead and everyone’s safety. God is good!!
Mar27: Preparing for Retaliation and Time to Think Had a morning meeting with [the commander] in the [operation center] with all the leaders. We are going to strike back (the Air Force will conduct strikes on some targets) and we can expect some pretty harsh retaliation [from the Iranians]. This is game changing stuff…
We will likely be sleeping in kits and trucks and bunkers for who knows how long. We are also prepping the black and gold plan in case we need to evacuate [from our base]. We burned a lot of our stuff with personal info on it, like letters and photos from home (in case we had to leave our tents quickly and leave all of our personal info behind). It was weird all of us soldiers standing around tossing letters and photos in the fire and saying bye to our old lives and talking about what the days ahead might look like and the stories we will tell.
Then I got an opportunity to take a nap and I got some sleep for probably about an hour and then I got time to just listen to music and think. Maybe that was good… maybe that was bad I don’t know… I was remembering times from right after high school and my outlook on life and how I believed everything was possible and how I had so much time. Now I feel I have a lot less time and I thought about how if I die I have no offspring. A very primal thought… I have no regrets, but I do wish I would have experienced true love if I don’t make it. Would it be better or worse for me to have experienced true love I’m not sure? Also, do I think I’m going to die? Probably not but moments like this make you think about that reality and that reality is more real now than it ever has been in my life. God has been good to me regardless. I have lived a blessed life. I just hope I have some more blessings to live out though!
Ended up getting a patrol and we pushed out at 2100. The strikes were canceled so we were out there for no reason essentially which was frustrating. I just want to get some solid sleep before I don’t have the opportunity. We saw almost no activity and then came back. Got to bed around 0300.
Working with the ODA (Green Berets)
Based on the nature of the work there isn’t a lot I can say about working with the green berets. Most of the stuff we did with them was extremely rewarding because it directly aligned with the defeat of ISIS, which made it very easy to see the direct results of our actions. I learned a lot, especially from integrating with their signal intelligence team. Those guys were super smart and awesome at their jobs. There were a couple of patrols we got to take them along on and they brought their fancy equipment. The results were very direct wins for our platoon in actually influencing the counter-terrorism fight. The information gained helped feed the ODA’s future missions. That is something the entire platoon could be proud of.
My Reflections
I remember thinking this deployment will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. In the end, I think that is a fair assessment. There isn’t a day that went by where I wasn’t tested or that I didn’t learn. It has all been a part of God’s plan and it has helped mold me into the man he wants me to be.
I’ve grown as a leader and as a role model. I’ve been humbled in so many ways. So many things were outside of my control on this deployment where all I could do was pray. I’ve grown to rely on God more heavily. I also got a lot out of the deployment as an education on war and politics. There is so much you can read and see on the news, but to be at the very tip of political implications was eye-opening. It is a very complex world and our leaders are frequently forced to make decisions with serious consequences. That is not an easy job by any means, but I was comforted by the professionalism and intelligence of the majority of the high-ranking generals and military officers who came to visit us to hear our “ground truth” on what was happening in our area of responsibility. As annoying as it was to have frequent visits from a two-star general I genuinely appreciated their dedication to seeing what was actually happening on our level and to looking in the eyes of the soldiers whose lives their decisions affected.
Within the mission, I am proud of what we were able to accomplish and I understand the several strategic reasons the US has troops in Syria in the first place. We have a small presence in the region and that small presence keeps the cost to the taxpayers low while still effectively deterring our country’s adversaries and ensuring ISIS does not reconstitute itself. Most of all, I am so thankful to God that we made it through the deployment without any casualties. Had we taken casualties I think that would greatly affect how I feel about the US, especially my men, being there. Some might consider Syria a forever war much like we had in Afghanistan. The campaign commander stated the current strategic plan was to remain in Syria for the next 3-5 years. That is the period in which we think we can consolidate the gains we’ve made and pass off the responsibility of peace and stability in the region to our partner forces the SDF. Personally, I am not fully convinced the region doesn’t collapse as soon as we leave. With that said what difference would leaving now versus five years from now make? If it ends up in the same state we found it in, then losing US lives is a hard pill to swallow. I’m thankful that is not a contemplation I will have to have in 3-5 years.
IT’S PEOPLE!!
A wise role model once told me the Army is just like everything else —it’s about people —and that has been one of the greatest blessings of this experience. On a deployment, there is almost no downtime and my men were always working. As a leader, I struggled constantly with feelings of guilt wondering if I was being selfish when I took time for myself. My men were the backbone of our success and I tried my hardest not to let them down. They deserved the best out of me every single day because I knew what we were asking of them. If it came down to it, I was asking for them to give their lives because their country sent them here and put me in charge. That is a very serious thing. However, it was through their willingness to do their duty that I grew to care so much for every one of these soldiers. I am grateful for them and will forever have their backs.
The burden of leadership, even on a platoon level, can be a lonely place. Without my peers, which have turned into lifelong friends, I can surely say I would not have been able to do my job to the level that I did without their confidence and support. Whether it was just a venting session or directly helping pick up the slack when I was falling behind, I am grateful.
I know I have probably said it at least 10 times above, but I am so grateful to God for protecting and preserving us as we did our duty on this adventure. God is good!
Since my last post, I’ve been pretty busy with army training. I spent a month up in Grayling doing all sorts of training from two platoon live fires to riding in chinooks and Blackhawks. There were stressful times, cold times, sleepless times, and there were good times. It was a great opportunity to build team cohesion within the company through some good old-fashioned shared suffering. I know I learned and grew a lot as a leader from the experience and now I am looking forward to getting ready for a deployment.
Summarizing the training and looking back on it makes it seem ordinary and typical and the type of thing that army soldiers do, but each individual has their own story during the build-up to something like a deployment. I am excited, but that doesn’t stop me from being anxious about a lot of the uncertainties and certain challenges that lie ahead. Prior to even showing up for the first day of training I was feeling anxious and worried. The weight of leadership and letting my men down was consuming my thoughts. Thoughts like what if I’m being lazy or aren’t trying hard enough are constants. Before we went to Grayling I went to a bonfire with friends and the whole time I felt spaced out thinking about the imminent burden of leading 30+ through training and eventually into an overseas deployment in a kinetic area of the world. As I sat there by the fire I was a little frustrated by the thought that no one could relate or truly get what I was going through. At the same time, I’m glad they don’t have to. That’s the point of serving your country so that others don’t have to.
It’s funny the little things that happen in life that sometimes turn out not to be so little. I went to jiu jitsu the day before I started training and my coach there talked about experiencing emotions. In a jiu jitsu sense, there are emotions that make you want to not show up sometimes. There are emotions that make you want to quit when things get tough during a roll. Coach Carl, who has a master’s degree as a trained therapist, spoke about how these are just emotions. It’s the actions you take in spite of the emotions that really matter. It was just a jiu jitsu class and those were just some words, but the impact couldn’t have been better timed with what I was about to experience. Sometimes those small things really are just a part of God’s plan for your life. Since that moment, throughout training and now off training in another state there have been many challenges, but each of these challenges is an opportunity. I have a choice—the choice to listen to my emotions or to take action in spite of what those emotions are telling me. What I choose is who I become. If I choose to give up when my emotions are telling me things are getting tough that becomes a conditioned response. Likewise, when I push through and endure adversity when my emotions are telling me to quit that too becomes a conditioned response. Now when I face adversity and experience feelings telling me it would be easier to take it easy or quit I get excited, because it is an opportunity for me to shape who I am. Who I am is someone who perseveres.
I could leave it there and this would be a good blog post, but I don’t get a lot of time to write so I am going to take advantage. After some time in Grayling, I got to spend some time with my family. While visiting my family in Grand Rapids I also found a motorcycle that I’ve had my eyes on for quite a while. Like everything right now, the supply chain issues have made it really hard to find this bike and when I saw it I jumped on the opportunity to buy it and have since ridden it close to 500 miles before storing it for the deployment. I took one trip back to Pigeon to visit my parents and I took a detour on the way back to Saginaw through Port Austin to explore a decommissioned Air Force Station from the cold war era. Still adventuring whenever I can!
I also spent a lot of time with friends and family while I still could. I saw my Aunt and Uncle who I haven’t seen in far too long, spent time with my nieces, hung out at my parent’s house, and even got to do my high school friends’ fantasy football draft in person with the boys! To top it off I got to go to the Michigan vs Uconn game with my buddies and even saw my nieces there! It was really a great way to spend my last free time before heading off for a year. God has blessed me so incredibly with all the friends and family I have supporting me while I go do army things! If you’re reading this you are probably one of them so thank you for thinking of and praying for me!
