Within 3 days of returning to the United States from my motorcycle trip, I was fortunate enough to attend a Detroit Lions game with some soldiers from my unit for their military appreciation game! It was my first NFL game and it was a stressful one! Fortunately, in classic Lions fashion, they scored 17 points in the last 2:59 to win the game against the Bears.
Shortly after that, I met up with my family in Kentucky at an Airbnb in Kentucky for a Thanksgiving get-together. This was the first time I got to see my different nieces and my nephew interact together. It was so fun to watch the older girls playing with their younger cousins! We ate a lot of good food and watched a lot of football and had a good time solving puzzles and playing games. Our Airbnb was also close to the Ark Encounter museum which features a full-size re-creation of Noah’s ark. It was very interesting to walk inside the ark looking at the sheer space of the structure and learning about how they may have fed all the animals.
I got to spend some time in Saginaw organizing all of my things and searching hard for an apartment before my move back down to Arizona. I got to go to the jiu-jitsu gym for a couple of weeks which was fun. I also had an army meeting during this time so my road trip beard and unkempt hair had to come to an end.
Peak beardFor future reference…
I joined a group of friends last minute heading to Chicago for the weekend to watch the Lions vs the Bears. I didn’t have a ticket, but I decided to join the trip. I figured I had already seen the Lions vs Bears so if things didn’t work out for a ticket I wouldn’t be too upset. I planned to go hang out and watch the game with a college buddy if there wasn’t an easy/cheap way to go to the game. Before the game we all met up at a hotel in downtown Chicago on Saturday and got some Indian food and grabbed some cases of beer. We played some card games and it quickly turned into old times with a hint of group therapy as we processed things that had happened in high school with our now more developed maturity. Needless to say, it was a fun night! The next morning we grabbed some food at a local breakfast spot. Then we started walking to the game and I still didn’t have a ticket or much of a plan. I was going to see what the ticket scalpers had to offer. As we got closer to the stadium I saw my first scalper and I stopped to engage him. He said I could get one ticket for $100. For reference, all my friends paid $150 for their tickets. As I tried to do some bartering the scalper noticed my group of friends had stopped to wait for me to see if I could secure a ticket. When the scalper noticed this he said, “Wait, are you with this group?” I told him I was and he said if you were with a big group just have one guy scan all the tickets and follow behind them. The ticket taker won’t count. I asked if he was serious and his buddy chimed in, “1000% nobody will check! You will definitely get in.” So with his 1000% guarantee, all my buddies and I agreed it was worth a shot. Sure enough, I walked right in behind them as the last guy. We got into the stadium and found their seats along with an empty one right next to them, a seat that wasn’t offered on Ticketmaster! It honestly wasn’t that surprising that our scheme worked based on previous sporting event ticket-taker encounters, but it did seem too easy.
Unfortunately, the Lions lost, but it was a fun atmosphere at Soldier Field and at the very least I didn’t pay to watch them lose. Feeling slightly guilty that I scammed my way into the stadium I used my saved cash to pay for the whole group to get some famous Chicago-style pizza at Lou Malnati’s. The pizza was great and it was a good time. After that, the group split and we went our separate ways. Two of my friends and I headed back to Detroit in a rented Tesla causing us to stop for a couple of charges. On one of our stops, we walked to a nearby Five Guys and I ordered a shake. The girl at the register put in the order and then went to make it. As I tried to pay with my card the card machine appeared to have processed the payment immediately. Almost too quick… Next up both of my buddies ordered shakes and they both received receipts after they paid. At this point, I realize I certainly didn’t pay. My buddy Chad is all mad that things keep going my way and I keep getting free stuff. To appease Chad and my conscious I go back up to the register and say that I don’t think my card worked and I didn’t pay. The guy behind the counter immediately responded, “Don’t worry about it.” Chad was even more mad after that haha! Should I have snuck into a Bears game? Probably not, but I can’t deny my good fortune, and it makes me laugh to see my friend’s jealousy of it as it unfolds in front of them!
Empire State BuildingBrooklyn BridgeMe and my buddy Joe posing with Welch’s grape juice in honor of our buddy Welch who couldn’t make the trip.Lady LIBERTY!!!
The weekend following my Chicago excursion I flew to NYC to hang out with my buddy Joe, an army buddy. He had a nice studio apartment in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. He also had an expert read on all of the top local restaurants. The highlight of the trip was the variety and quality of food we ate. I may have had some of the best Indian food of my life, delicious NY-style pizza, sushi, shwarma, bulgogi in Korean town, pork dumplings in Chinatown, and meat on a stick from the street vendors. I was in heaven!
We did a lot of walking around the city. We visited the 9/11 memorial, the MET museum, the National Museum of the American Indian, the Empire State Building, the Rockefeller Center, the Brooklyn Bridge, and a bunch of other neat places. To me, NYC is a great place to visit, but I would find it a little hectic to live in. The thing that I liked about it was the diversity. There were so many different types of people from all over the world living together. On my last day there we went to the Brooklyn Bridge and I got to see the Statue of Liberty and it was really cool to think about how my great-grandparents came to America from Europe and as they entered the “land of opportunity” one of the first things they probably saw was that statue. What a blessed country we live in!
Immediately following my trip to NYC, I flew to Phoenix and headed down to Casa Grande, AZ to move into my apartment. I only spent two full days moving in and scrounging Facebook Marketplace for furniture to get it ready before I returned after Christmas and immediately headed back to work. I think I made some good progress for the short amount of time I had. I’m excited to get back to Arizona and start living in a somewhat normal routine for the first time in a long while.
After the quick trip to Arizona, I returned to Michigan and gathered up the rest of my possessions and loaded them into my truck, and headed to my parents. I watched the children’s Christmas program that I grew up doing on Christmas Eve. Following church on Christmas day, I headed to the west side of the state for family Christmas. I got to spend two full days eating good food, opening presents, and most of spending time with family. Then I hit the road early in the morning for my 30-hour drive back to Arizona. I made it all the way to Pratt, Kansas the first night. The second day I made it back running on fumes and happy to finally be stable in one spot for a while.
New Year’s Eve and Resolutions
After spending a couple of days of full effort unpacking and getting my apartment situated I headed to church on the morning of Christmas Eve. It was super nice to see everyone that I had met 16 months previously before I left for my army deployment. The church looked like it had grown too! The sermon message talked about how we never really know what will happen. Life is crazy and things can blindside you. You might make plans and instead, your entire world could get upended by world pandemics, war, natural disasters, and other terrible things. One thing that is certain is God will remain by our side through it all and he has a better hope for our future than anything this world could offer.
After church, I continued my organizing and unpacking. Toward the evening I decided I would go for a run up a mountain to watch the sunset. I knew of one mountain park in town where I could do this, but it was further away so I decided to check out a new one closer to where my apartment is. I got there and realized there wasn’t any actual path up to the top of the mountain. With sunset approaching I didn’t have time to change my plans so I decided to hop some fences and scramble up the rocky mountainside to do what I set out to do in the first place. It was the last day of an incredible year for me after all. I had to end it in appropriate fashion.
I climbed slowly up the mountain side and as I did I thought about what I wanted my resolutions for the new year to be. I tried to keep up my pace because otherwise I wouldn’t make it to the top by sunset. At a certain point, I decided I wasn’t going to make it and even if I did it would be much too dark to climb down safely without a headlamp or flashlight. As I decided to cut my loses and stop I turned around and saw that I already had an amazing view of the desert and surrounding mountains! I had been so focused on climbing to the peak that I hadn’t even noticed. Immediately I stopped and prayed to God and thanked him for an incredible year filled with experiences beyond my wildest imagination. I started the year as an infantry platoon leader leading patrols in Syria and meeting with tribal militia leaders on the banks of the Euphrates River. After that, I rode my motorcycle through 13 countries on two continents. Through it all I was able to come back safe and to see my family for the holidays. Words can’t describe how blessed I felt in that moment. With that filling my heart, as cliche as it sounds, I decided my resolutions would be to enjoy the journey. Life moves fast and if you spend all your time starting up at whatever peak you’re chasing you’ll miss out on the view. As I start a new chapter and a new year in Arizona I am looking forward to routine and more importantly enjoying where I’m at. After all, only God knows what lies ahead in 2024.
Most people who read this blog probably already know that I have been deployed to Syria with the Army since mid-Novemeber 2022. My unit started the deployment train-up back in August of 2022 and now almost a full year later it is coming to an end. It’s been one heck of an experience and one of the greatest privileges of my life to lead men and serve my country in such a complex and dangerous environment.
Syria is exceedingly complex and most Americans don’t know the United States is actively involved in the region. According to the United States National Defense Strategy, ISIS and its affiliates represent a persistent security threat to the United States being classified as a “violent extremist organization.” Operation Inherent Resolve first began operations in Syria in 2014 and its mission in Syria today remains the same; “to enable the enduring defeat of ISIS.” It is under this mission statement that I was deployed to Syria.
Officially in Syria, we conducted partner defeat ISIS operations with our partner force, the Syrian Democratic Forces, as well as efforts to secure critical infrastructure in the Deir ez-Zor and Hasakah regions to prevent that infrastructure from falling back into the hands of ISIS. For me, on the conventional force side, this looked like advising through partner force joint patrols in the Deir ez-Zor region. These joint patrols and the bombed-out oil refinery we lived on and defended also helped to increase stability and to ensure critical infrastructure stayed secured. The “green beret” soldiers we were stationed with, on the special forces side, worked more hands-on with the Syrian Democratic Forces. They conducted joint operations direct against ISIS targets and further developed the SDF’s capability to prevent the resurgence of ISIS unassisted.
This is a video screenshot of an ISIS protest that happened within 5 miles of our base while we were there.
Another, less official, reason the US is in Syria is to deter our adversaries Iran and to a lesser extent Russia. Just across the Euphrates River from where we were stationed is the Deir ez-Zor airfield which houses Syrian Regime, Iranian, and Russian military positions. Iranian and Russian military flights as well as frequent surveillance drones were launched from this airfield. On the west side paralleling the Euphrates River are numerous built-up Syrian Regime, Iranian, and Russian battle positions as well. On the opposite, east side of the Euphrates River, we would routinely patrol along our partner force, SDF, battle positions observing the Syrian Regime and Russian flags at the counter positions right across the river. Part of this unofficial mission was terrain denial to prevent our adversaries, Russia and Iran, from controlling the oil-rich region of Syria that the US and SDF are currently securing. Iranian-backed militias also posed a threat to stability in the region and to the US and our allies. The presence of US forces in Syria makes it more difficult for Iran to move weapons into Lebanon, for use by its proxies, including the Lebanese Hezbollah, against our ally Israel. Strategically, our presence is crucial in disrupting what could be an uncontested land bridge for Iran to the eastern Mediterranean.
Outside of my area of operations, to the north other companies from our battalion dealt with another player—Turkey—further complicating the geopolitics of the mission. Though Turkey is a NATO ally, they actively target the US’s partner force ally, the SDF, with airstrikes and drone attacks on prominent SDF leaders. Between ISIS, the Syrian Regime, Russia, Iran, Iranian-backed militias, and Turkey another complication was the constant instability and conflict among the local tribes within our area of operations. The SDF also experienced some instability between its different military councils and branches of the military as they jockeyed for power and more importantly US funding during our time deployed. Needless to say, the environment was complex making for a very interesting experience as an infantry platoon leader leading patrols through contested areas with many national strategic level implications for any missteps.
Major Events
This next section will take a look at specific events that took place during the deployment using entries from my personal journal. Journal entries have been edited to remove specific names and sensitive information. For context, I was stationed at MSS Conoco in southern Syria. The majority of my duties there were conducting mounted vehicle patrols throughout our areas of operations. During these patrols, we conducted observations of pro-Syrian regime battle positions, patrolled through populated civilian areas to encourage stability and security, and organized key leader engagements with local SDF military leaders to conduct joint patrols with them.
Jan04:Rocket Attack News Article “Woke up like any normal day and went and got breakfast. I was eating it in the platoon office with [my platoon sergeant] and I had finished everything but my cereal. We were sitting there talking about who knows what when I heard an explosion. I saw [our company commander] run out of his room and the intel analyst ran frantically past us. We quickly realized this wasn’t a drill.
[The platoon sergeant] and I ran outside and to our tent. We didn’t hear any other impacts. When we got to the tent area I told everyone to get their kits on and guys were still laying on the ground and evidently had just been woken up by everything. The incoming alarm went off one more time and we got down and then I got my kit on.
Since everyone had just woken up it made it super easy to get accountability. We got in the trucks and got them crewed and then spun up to our different battle positions. That worked well and we immediately got an up on accountability from the rest of the platoon in the bunkers. Then we stood by waiting for info.
Eventually, [the operations center] told us to link up with EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) to go explore the POI (point of impact) site. We linked up with them and they had the grids. ]One of my squad leaders] put them into his ATAK (navigation phone) and we made a quick plan on how to approach the sites and then we headed out. My FO (forward observer) monitored the company net for me and I had my handheld on our patrol net. I also had another handheld Hytera radio to talk to the ODA (special force team) that was pushing out to the point of origin.
We pushed out and got to the first site and there was this massive crater right in the vicinity of where the first grid took us and I thought for sure that must be it. [My point man] told them he might have seen something and EOD pulled up to take a look. It was hilarious because they pulled up to this small skid mark and to a little Pringle can sized piece of rocket laying there about 30 feet from the actual crater. The massive crater there was completely unrelated. Fortunately, EOD knew exactly what they were looking for and the rest of us just got lucky. It was a classic example of when expectations don’t meet reality.
I remember thinking dang that’s all that rocket did? We are that afraid of rocket attacks here? It would have to be a near-direct impact to kill someone otherwise it’d be a small shrapnel radius. It was kind of funny to think how wrong I was about the damage just one rocket could cause. That made me feel a little bit better about the odds of it causing death to one of our guys if it landed inside the wire.
We dropped [the platoon sergeant’s] truck at the first POI and then we went to the second site. Again same story and this time EOD did a whole evidence collection process and it was kind of cool to watch them work. Then we wrapped that up and collected evidence at the first site and then headed back in the wire. While we were about to head back we heard another explosion.
We got back and I went into the [operation center] and started getting the bigger picture of what happened. Eventually, we had a company-level AAR and that went well. We, as QRF, made some mistakes. But overall we performed really solid with a lot of flexibility and thinking on our feet. We had quick accountability and working out there with EOD went really well. We successfully investigated and recovered everything.
In the AAR the ODA explained that the Apaches saw three rocket rails and one rocket was still on a rail. So not knowing if it was on a timer the pilot launched a hellfire missile at it. The ODA eventually showed up and then saw another rocket still there. Might have been the same one, but they did a controlled detonation which is the explosion we heard earlier. It was really cool to get the big picture of everything and understand how it all went down. A lot of elements reacted and we did it well and everyone was safe and we actioned everything we needed to. God is so good!
Then went back about the day, but in [an elevated security posture]. The news about the rocket attack was up on ABC News within like 2 hours after the actual attack. That was kind of crazy.
It’s very interesting because as it was happening I was almost excited that it was. I remember being outside the wire looking for the POI sites and I just felt so alive. It was a strange feeling. I’m glad I had that experience and more importantly, I’m glad no one got hurt. What a day! God is so incredibly good!”
Jan30:Bradleys hit a Mine “Woke up and had a chill morning. Was expecting to hear some news about Israel’s air strikes and a raid that was supposed to happen. No crazy information came out of that. Then I went and lifted at the gym. Afterwards, I headed to the market to order a sandwich. On my way back I saw a sergeant from another platoon walking to the market and I said hi to him and he replied with a serious look on his face and told me the Bradley’s hit an IED.
I ran to the [operations center]. Their Bradley was disabled, but luckily no one was seriously injured or unstable. It turned into a run around everywhere getting trucks ready and getting all the assets we needed. We went out with the JTAC (Joint Terminal Attack Controller) and EOD and 5 QRF trucks. It was stressful getting out there trying to make sure we came in on the same route they came in on. [The Bradley’s platoon sergeant who wasn’t on patrol with them] rode in the back of my truck and it drove me crazy. He would not shut up. I get that he was emotional because it was his platoon but he kept trying to micromanage everything.
We made it the where the Bradleys were and then it became pretty unclear how we needed to establish security because it was a narrow road right against an elevated railroad track known to be covered with mines and IEDs. We approached slowly and when the road became more canalized we pulled security while the EOD truck moved up. We essentially took commands from [the EOD lead] and watched as he moved forward on foot, scanning and then slowly moving the truck forward. It was slow going and we all pulled security and watched. Luckily the JTAC came with us and we had a ton of assets on station for us. We would have been absolutely screwed without them because there was no security to the north because we couldn’t get there because of terrain and we also couldn’t risk pushing past EOD into a known minefield. That was tough but I’m glad air had us covered. Apaches circled all day.
Eventually, EOD cleared up to the Bradley’s and the 7 personnel inside dismounted and walked back along the cleared road to where our security position was. [My platoon sergeant] and I had already made a plan and he was going to stay and I was going to lead 3 trucks back to [our base] with the casualties. We loaded them up and then got accountability and pushed out.
We found a quick easy route back onto the main road and then headed up to [base]. We drove straight through with no [entry control point] check to the Role 1 (medical facility) where the casualties were triaged and taken off our hands. I had the 3 trucks restate and prepare for follow on. I ate the cold sandwich that I had ordered right before we got spun up in the first place. I stood by in the [operations center] while the situation progressed. They were able to hook the two other Bradleys up to the downed one and they began to tow it out of the minefield. It came up that a bunch of the armor had gotten blown off and we would have to recover it.
My three trucks and I prepared and got the lowboy and the MRV (MaxxPro Recovery Vehicle) ready. [The recovery lead] had 4 men come with us— 2 driving the MRV. We headed out after a quick ramp brief and passed the Bradley getting towed on the main road.
At this point, it had gotten dark and by the time we arrived, we immediately fell in on the plan that [our] 1SG and [my platoon sergeant] had come up with while we were gone. The MRV moved up while the rest of the 3 trucks filled in security. We got the lowboy turned around and staged while the MRV maneuvered to get into position to attempt to recover the Bradley’s 1000lb+ armor. It seemed slow going but they eventually got it and began to move forward slowly. The MRV and the EOD truck came out at the same time and we moved the EOD truck within the security position because they had no gun. The MRV dropped the armor onto the lowboy and as they strapped it down we prepared everyone else to get ready to move. [My platoon sergeant] had complete accountability and gave out order of movement to each truck as he gathered numbers. Once the armor was secured and the MRV was ready to move we started pulling out with all 8 trucks and made good time making it out to the main road and back inside the wire.
We got inside the wire and we cleared all weapon systems and refueled and got them staged. I learned a lot from the whole experience. I’m so so glad that everyone was alright with no major injuries. I went into the [operation center] and then rounded out the night talking to the SDF, preparing a patrol for tomorrow, and helping with the incident paperwork.
What a freaking night, but God is unbelievably good and I am so thankful everyone is safe! Thank you, God!”
Mar23: One way Drone Kills US Contractor at RLZ Woke up and went to the morning update brief. Decently chill morning. I reviewed my [mission planning products and admin tasks] in the morning and then I went and lifted. I got 325 3×3 on squat. 225 4×3 on bench and 430 4×3 on deadlift. My back jacked up on the last set of deadlift, but otherwise I felt strong!
Then showered and then got ready for the [partner force] SDF weekly meeting. It got postponed for an hour and a half so I went to the market to pick up the food I had [one of my squad leaders] order for me. I was eating over at the market when they called FPCON Bravo (a higher threat protection level) so I packed up and walked to the tent to get my kit on. I went to the TOC to see what was up when they called FPCON Charlie (even higher threat protection level). RLZ was hit.
We mounted up and took the gun trucks to battle positions. Information was slowly flowing out and we stayed in our battle positions for a couple hours. I swapped trucks with [1st PLT] because he needed a more reliable JBCP truck. They were spinning up to take the MLIDs (drone defeat system trucks) all the way to RLZ with the JTAC and a wrecker. That was a wild plan and it took them a while to spin up. They eventually left and then got called back to turn around.
During FPCON Charlie the senior leaders got called into the [operation center] and [the commander] explained the situation and said there is likely a US casualty. The one way UAS hit the maintenance bay there with several injured and one unlikely to survive. The dynamic here is going to change and we are going to strike back. We eventually dropped down to [a lesser threat level] and then I went in the [operation center] to see if there were any updates. We are going to conduct counterstrikes either tonight or tomorrow night. And we will probably have an expanded target list. Most likely tomorrow night though.
I went and disseminated to the SLs and then we had a PLT bonfire and hung out and [one of the platoon’s gunners] played some songs which was really cool. That was a very cool moment for the platoon. The humanity of coming together and being with each other as friends and as brothers in sight of the tragedy that happened at RLZ where one of our brothers probably got killed was a good way to react. I’m proud of them doing that and us being in a healthy headspace.
Internet will be out for at least 48 hours while the injuries get sorted out. So it will be interesting to hear who the injuries are and then to see how it was reported in the United States. Lots of implications coming up.
God is still good and he’s got a plan for us in this. I don’t know what his purpose in this is, but Lord God use me as your instrument to do your work according to your plan. Also, be with the family of those injured.
I have no idea how I would have reacted if I was there and if they were my guys. Lord prepare me for those realities though I pray I never see them. Give me the right actions to take and words to say. Let me be strong for the sake of my men. Amen.
Mar24: We get Attacked by 220mm MLRS Rockets The day really started at 0030 when the radio guard came into our tent and told [my platoon sergeant] and me needed to go to the [operation center]. We went to the platoon office and [the commander] told the leadership group that the decision came down to conduct the counter-ITN (Iranian Threat Network) strikes tonight. Effective immediately we would be in a “soft” FPCON Charlie with rotations of guys in trucks on battle positions along the perimeter wall.
[My platoon sergeant] and I came back around 0100 and woke up the squad leaders to figure out a plan. The meeting was a bunch of grumpy tired people staring at each other trying to come up with a roster that doesn’t screw everybody out of sleep. We landed on 4-hour shifts per squad. Each squad would man two trucks. One on the north wall and one on the south wall. Leadership would rotate in the JBCP (communications) truck to monitor all levels of coms.
I slept through the strikes and when I went to relieve the crew for my shift they told me about how they could hear and see the strikes exploding on the Iranian targets across the Euphrates River. The truck near the west wall said they could see the strike burning in the distance for hours.
My crew went out and manned the wall. We had the 0500-0900 shift which wasn’t bad at all because the sun started to come up right away. That didn’t stop me from drowsing off repeatedly though.
I pulled us off the tower so I could go to the [update brief] to hear the latest info about the strikes. I got into the [operation center] for the [update brief] and we waited around for [the commander] to show up. Before he could show up MSS Green Village (the closest US mission support site to our location) started taking rockets and they pushed everyone out of the TOC into “hard” FPCON Charlie. By the time I got back to the tents guys were getting spun up. It was a complete gaggle trying to crew the trucks with the shift crews. We eventually got up and got into positions. I can’t remember how long, but probably after about 20 minutes in battle positions they dropped us back down to shift crewed battle positions instead of 100% and I went back to the [operation center]. I got some updates and then grabbed breakfast for myself and [my platoon sergeant] and filled his coffee. I delivered it to him on shift and then I ate mine watching the rest of a Man in the Arena Tom Brady documentary episode. Then I used the bathroom and shaved and then got some sleep. I slept pretty well actually.
[My FO] and I were on shift in the JBCP truck and I listened to the Andrew Huberman Jocko podcast episode. Pyle and I talked and I did some reading. Apparently, the internet was working but I couldn’t get it to work. As I was trying to move closer to get it to work I got a call over the base net from [the commander] that there were 7 enemy one-way UAS airborne with unknown target destinations. As I was hearing this I went and woke up [my platoon sergeant] and the SLs and got them going. We ended up going hard FPCON Charlie again. This time getting loaded went much better and we went out to our positions. [The commander] gave the order that senior leaders would be in the guns along the west wall to watch for the potential approach of one-way UAS. We were in that posture from probably around 1500 to 1900 roughly.
Immediately after that, I went to a leader meeting and they explained that none of the one-way UAS had been launched it was a misunderstanding. They were prepping them for an attack but had not launched them. They had 12 one-way UAS ready according to intel and MSS Conoco and ATG were both assessed as prime targets. I also was told I had to make a [patrol plan] for a [resupply convoy overwatch mission]. I immediately went to the chow hall after the meeting at 1910 I tried to get food and the DFAC was locked and no extra food was anywhere. I was so fricking mad and especially since a bunch of my guys didn’t get to eat. I was very angry towards both XO and 1SG. I went back and found that some guys had gone right away and got food so we at least had that.
I had a leaders meeting with the squad leaders and we lightened up the crew for the JBCP truck for more downtime and I didn’t have to be on shift until 0100-0500.
I went to sleep to try and get some shut-eye and [my platoon sergeant] came off shift and was doing the same when we got hit with some sort of rocket/missile attack.
I woke up so confused because the noise did not compute. There were no alarms over the [warning towers] and no message put out. All that was heard was just explosion after explosion all around. It was a weird moment where [my platoon sergeant] and I just stood up and started getting ready. We put our kits on and I put on my socks and boots instead of getting down and taking cover. By the time I was getting out of the tent they called FPCON Delta (our highest threat protection level) and the last of the rounds were impacting. All the guys were in the bunker and they were shaken up. It struck me because my only emotion was initial confusion because I didn’t understand what the noise was. Once I realized it was rockets it was work mode and I just went to work to do my job. Seeing the guys scared in the bunker was a pretty stark contrast. I was much more well-composed than even it seemed the squad leaders were. I am proud of that composure. Once we got our accountability and realized the impacts were over we hopped in trucks and got off to our battle positions. I went up onto the Northeast battle position on the north wall of the perimeter and stood by.
Almost immediately we had a casualty called up and that was something that made told sense considering the situation, but I was surprised by it. It felt so real and I quickly got angry. I was angry at the Iranians. I was angry at the US government for putting us out here as bait. Mostly I was angry that I wasn’t able to do anything. I just sat there hoping there were no more casualties and that the one casualty would be okay. I thought a lot about my guys and how much I realized I care for their safety. I thought how would I react if it was one of my guys who was injured? Lots of thoughts and lots of time to sit there on the wall and consider them.
We eventually got called to start at the north wall and sweep south [searching] for UXOs (unexploded ordance). I organized to have 4 trucks on line and we moved slowly and deliberately, but there was just so much space to cover. Ultimately we were able to spot three rockets stuck in the ground. EOD responded and I’m not quite sure what their actions were. One impact was very close to our radar system so hopefully that system is still up.
After hours of clearing [the commander] came over the net that were going to do hand across Conoco on foot to clear the whole base for UXOs. We were moving to execute when he radioed back and said the planned counter-strike was canceled because of the weather. Because it was cancelled we are able to wait until light to do the clearing.
All leadership met in [a specific] room and we talked about the events quickly and mostly the path forward. Trucks will stay in their positions all night with no movement due to the UXO risk. Word that GV took 3 one-way UASs was also pushed out. The coyote destroyed one. The LPWS (anti-rockets, artillery, mortar system) destroyed one and one impacted with no casualties, thank God!
What an absolutely wild night. I went back to the truck and we refueled and then sent them to support EOD for a clearance of the outer perimeter road. I went to the squad leader tent and briefed the squad leaders. After that, I tried to sleep, but couldn’t get away from my thoughts and after half an hour [one of my soldiers] woke me up because the truck was back. I was onto another shift on the JBCP trucks at about 0330. I guess I’ll call this the day and pick up tomorrow’s journal with my truck shift and after.
All I know is that we are extremely blessed and God was certainly watching over us because with all those impacts all around us, it could have and probably should have been much worse. The noise of all those rockets impacting all around and the repercussions of the explosions was an exhilarating moment. It’s hard to describe. It was honestly kind of surreal to be here in this environment with that act of war. I pray for the days ahead and everyone’s safety. God is good!!
Mar27: Preparing for Retaliation and Time to Think Had a morning meeting with [the commander] in the [operation center] with all the leaders. We are going to strike back (the Air Force will conduct strikes on some targets) and we can expect some pretty harsh retaliation [from the Iranians]. This is game changing stuff…
We will likely be sleeping in kits and trucks and bunkers for who knows how long. We are also prepping the black and gold plan in case we need to evacuate [from our base]. We burned a lot of our stuff with personal info on it, like letters and photos from home (in case we had to leave our tents quickly and leave all of our personal info behind). It was weird all of us soldiers standing around tossing letters and photos in the fire and saying bye to our old lives and talking about what the days ahead might look like and the stories we will tell.
Then I got an opportunity to take a nap and I got some sleep for probably about an hour and then I got time to just listen to music and think. Maybe that was good… maybe that was bad I don’t know… I was remembering times from right after high school and my outlook on life and how I believed everything was possible and how I had so much time. Now I feel I have a lot less time and I thought about how if I die I have no offspring. A very primal thought… I have no regrets, but I do wish I would have experienced true love if I don’t make it. Would it be better or worse for me to have experienced true love I’m not sure? Also, do I think I’m going to die? Probably not but moments like this make you think about that reality and that reality is more real now than it ever has been in my life. God has been good to me regardless. I have lived a blessed life. I just hope I have some more blessings to live out though!
Ended up getting a patrol and we pushed out at 2100. The strikes were canceled so we were out there for no reason essentially which was frustrating. I just want to get some solid sleep before I don’t have the opportunity. We saw almost no activity and then came back. Got to bed around 0300.
Working with the ODA (Green Berets)
Based on the nature of the work there isn’t a lot I can say about working with the green berets. Most of the stuff we did with them was extremely rewarding because it directly aligned with the defeat of ISIS, which made it very easy to see the direct results of our actions. I learned a lot, especially from integrating with their signal intelligence team. Those guys were super smart and awesome at their jobs. There were a couple of patrols we got to take them along on and they brought their fancy equipment. The results were very direct wins for our platoon in actually influencing the counter-terrorism fight. The information gained helped feed the ODA’s future missions. That is something the entire platoon could be proud of.
My Reflections
I remember thinking this deployment will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. In the end, I think that is a fair assessment. There isn’t a day that went by where I wasn’t tested or that I didn’t learn. It has all been a part of God’s plan and it has helped mold me into the man he wants me to be.
I’ve grown as a leader and as a role model. I’ve been humbled in so many ways. So many things were outside of my control on this deployment where all I could do was pray. I’ve grown to rely on God more heavily. I also got a lot out of the deployment as an education on war and politics. There is so much you can read and see on the news, but to be at the very tip of political implications was eye-opening. It is a very complex world and our leaders are frequently forced to make decisions with serious consequences. That is not an easy job by any means, but I was comforted by the professionalism and intelligence of the majority of the high-ranking generals and military officers who came to visit us to hear our “ground truth” on what was happening in our area of responsibility. As annoying as it was to have frequent visits from a two-star general I genuinely appreciated their dedication to seeing what was actually happening on our level and to looking in the eyes of the soldiers whose lives their decisions affected.
Within the mission, I am proud of what we were able to accomplish and I understand the several strategic reasons the US has troops in Syria in the first place. We have a small presence in the region and that small presence keeps the cost to the taxpayers low while still effectively deterring our country’s adversaries and ensuring ISIS does not reconstitute itself. Most of all, I am so thankful to God that we made it through the deployment without any casualties. Had we taken casualties I think that would greatly affect how I feel about the US, especially my men, being there. Some might consider Syria a forever war much like we had in Afghanistan. The campaign commander stated the current strategic plan was to remain in Syria for the next 3-5 years. That is the period in which we think we can consolidate the gains we’ve made and pass off the responsibility of peace and stability in the region to our partner forces the SDF. Personally, I am not fully convinced the region doesn’t collapse as soon as we leave. With that said what difference would leaving now versus five years from now make? If it ends up in the same state we found it in, then losing US lives is a hard pill to swallow. I’m thankful that is not a contemplation I will have to have in 3-5 years.
IT’S PEOPLE!!
A wise role model once told me the Army is just like everything else —it’s about people —and that has been one of the greatest blessings of this experience. On a deployment, there is almost no downtime and my men were always working. As a leader, I struggled constantly with feelings of guilt wondering if I was being selfish when I took time for myself. My men were the backbone of our success and I tried my hardest not to let them down. They deserved the best out of me every single day because I knew what we were asking of them. If it came down to it, I was asking for them to give their lives because their country sent them here and put me in charge. That is a very serious thing. However, it was through their willingness to do their duty that I grew to care so much for every one of these soldiers. I am grateful for them and will forever have their backs.
The burden of leadership, even on a platoon level, can be a lonely place. Without my peers, which have turned into lifelong friends, I can surely say I would not have been able to do my job to the level that I did without their confidence and support. Whether it was just a venting session or directly helping pick up the slack when I was falling behind, I am grateful.
I know I have probably said it at least 10 times above, but I am so grateful to God for protecting and preserving us as we did our duty on this adventure. God is good!
Since my last post, I’ve been pretty busy with army training. I spent a month up in Grayling doing all sorts of training from two platoon live fires to riding in chinooks and Blackhawks. There were stressful times, cold times, sleepless times, and there were good times. It was a great opportunity to build team cohesion within the company through some good old-fashioned shared suffering. I know I learned and grew a lot as a leader from the experience and now I am looking forward to getting ready for a deployment.
Summarizing the training and looking back on it makes it seem ordinary and typical and the type of thing that army soldiers do, but each individual has their own story during the build-up to something like a deployment. I am excited, but that doesn’t stop me from being anxious about a lot of the uncertainties and certain challenges that lie ahead. Prior to even showing up for the first day of training I was feeling anxious and worried. The weight of leadership and letting my men down was consuming my thoughts. Thoughts like what if I’m being lazy or aren’t trying hard enough are constants. Before we went to Grayling I went to a bonfire with friends and the whole time I felt spaced out thinking about the imminent burden of leading 30+ through training and eventually into an overseas deployment in a kinetic area of the world. As I sat there by the fire I was a little frustrated by the thought that no one could relate or truly get what I was going through. At the same time, I’m glad they don’t have to. That’s the point of serving your country so that others don’t have to.
It’s funny the little things that happen in life that sometimes turn out not to be so little. I went to jiu jitsu the day before I started training and my coach there talked about experiencing emotions. In a jiu jitsu sense, there are emotions that make you want to not show up sometimes. There are emotions that make you want to quit when things get tough during a roll. Coach Carl, who has a master’s degree as a trained therapist, spoke about how these are just emotions. It’s the actions you take in spite of the emotions that really matter. It was just a jiu jitsu class and those were just some words, but the impact couldn’t have been better timed with what I was about to experience. Sometimes those small things really are just a part of God’s plan for your life. Since that moment, throughout training and now off training in another state there have been many challenges, but each of these challenges is an opportunity. I have a choice—the choice to listen to my emotions or to take action in spite of what those emotions are telling me. What I choose is who I become. If I choose to give up when my emotions are telling me things are getting tough that becomes a conditioned response. Likewise, when I push through and endure adversity when my emotions are telling me to quit that too becomes a conditioned response. Now when I face adversity and experience feelings telling me it would be easier to take it easy or quit I get excited, because it is an opportunity for me to shape who I am. Who I am is someone who perseveres.
I could leave it there and this would be a good blog post, but I don’t get a lot of time to write so I am going to take advantage. After some time in Grayling, I got to spend some time with my family. While visiting my family in Grand Rapids I also found a motorcycle that I’ve had my eyes on for quite a while. Like everything right now, the supply chain issues have made it really hard to find this bike and when I saw it I jumped on the opportunity to buy it and have since ridden it close to 500 miles before storing it for the deployment. I took one trip back to Pigeon to visit my parents and I took a detour on the way back to Saginaw through Port Austin to explore a decommissioned Air Force Station from the cold war era. Still adventuring whenever I can!
I also spent a lot of time with friends and family while I still could. I saw my Aunt and Uncle who I haven’t seen in far too long, spent time with my nieces, hung out at my parent’s house, and even got to do my high school friends’ fantasy football draft in person with the boys! To top it off I got to go to the Michigan vs Uconn game with my buddies and even saw my nieces there! It was really a great way to spend my last free time before heading off for a year. God has blessed me so incredibly with all the friends and family I have supporting me while I go do army things! If you’re reading this you are probably one of them so thank you for thinking of and praying for me!